How to Get Your Affairs in Order: An Estate Planning Checklist

Why do so many people put this off?

Preparing your affairs is one of those jobs almost everyone agrees is sensible and very few people finish. In its 2025 wills survey of more than 2,500 American adults, Caring.com found that only 24% said they had a will, down from 33% in 2022, and the most common reason given by people without one was that they simply hadn't got round to it.

That reason tells you how to fix the problem. It is rarely a firm decision against planning. The job feels large, emotional and vague, and it has no obvious first step. The answer is to make it smaller: short sessions with a named output, facts before feelings, and a rough first version you improve later.

It also helps to know what the job actually is. Getting your affairs in order is not the same as writing a will. It is a set of connected tasks: knowing what you have, knowing how it passes on, choosing people, recording wishes, preparing for professional advice, and telling the people who will need to act.

What should be on an estate planning checklist?

A complete checklist covers six steps. We call them Count, Route, Choose, Write, Tell and Review.

How do I list what I own and owe?

Work through categories in order, because order jogs memory: homes and land, bank accounts and deposits, investments, pensions and retirement accounts, insurance, business interests, vehicles and valuables, digital assets, money owed to you, and every debt.

For each item record what it is, where it is held, the country, how it is owned, a rough value and where the papers are. Ownership type matters most. A home owned jointly with survivorship usually passes to the surviving owner, while a fixed share passes under your will or local law.

Two rules keep this safe and useful. Rough values are fine, missing items are not. And never record passwords, PINs or full account numbers in your inventory; record locations instead.

• Search your email for 'statement', 'policy' and 'nominee' to find forgotten accounts.
• List every employer that may hold a pension or group life cover for you.
• Include accounts in countries where you used to live.
• Add debts and any loan you guaranteed for someone else.

Does my will control everything?

Often it does not. Assets travel along several roads. Your will usually covers things in your sole name with no other instruction. Nominations, beneficiary designations, joint ownership with survivorship and trusts each move assets along their own road, and an old form can point somewhere your new will never mentions.

The rules differ sharply by country. In the United States, for example, retirement accounts and life insurance generally pay the beneficiary named on the form. In India, the Supreme Court held in December 2023 (Shakti Yezdani v Jayanand Jayant Salgaonkar) that a nominee of shares does not become the absolute owner; succession law still decides who inherits. In Singapore, CPF savings are distributed by CPF nomination rather than by will.

The practical move is the same everywhere: list every account that can carry a nominee or beneficiary, ask the institution in writing who is recorded, and take any conflict to a lawyer before changing anything.

How do I choose an executor and other key people?

Choose for four qualities: honest, organised, available and calm with your family. Closeness matters less than people expect. An executor may spend months on paperwork and phone calls, and sometimes has to hold a line with relatives.

Ask before you name anyone, give them a week to think, and accept a no gracefully. Then brief them in writing: where your documents are, who your lawyer is, which institutions hold your money and anything they should know about your family. Name a backup for every role.

• Executor and backup executor
• Guardian for any child under 18, and someone to manage their money
• A person for money decisions if you lose capacity
• A person for health decisions if you cannot speak for yourself
• A trusted contact who knows where your summary is

What happens if I cannot make decisions while I am alive?

Plan for incapacity as well as death. Many countries let you appoint someone in advance for money and property, and someone for health and welfare. In England and Wales, for example, GOV.UK explains that a lasting power of attorney comes in two types, property and financial affairs, and health and welfare, and that registration costs £92 unless you qualify for a reduction or exemption. In some countries an ordinary power of attorney stops working when you lose mental capacity, so ask what is available where you live.

Advance care planning is the conversation behind those documents. The US National Institute on Aging describes a living will as a legal document that tells doctors how you want to be treated if you cannot make your own decisions, and a health care proxy as the person who decides for you. Rules on validity vary widely, so talk first, then sign what your country provides with professional help.

Organ donation is part of the same conversation. In England, organ donation moved to an opt-out system on 20 May 2020, and NHS Organ Donation says families are still involved before donation goes ahead. Whatever your country's system, decide, register where you can and tell your family.

How do I prepare for a meeting with a lawyer?

Make your decisions at home and arrive with them written down. A lawyer or notary will ask predictable questions: your family, your assets, how they are owned, your executor, guardians, the main split, specific gifts, property abroad and existing nominations. If you have answered them, the meeting can focus on what only a professional can give you.

Ask at first contact what the fee covers and which professional body regulates them. Bring copies of property papers, recent statements, insurance and pension documents and any earlier will.

• Which documents do I need here?
• Which law applies to property in other countries?
• How do my nominations interact with my will?
• Does marriage, divorce or a new child change my will here?
• Should the will be registered, and where should the original be kept?

How do I record funeral wishes, letters and digital access?

Funeral wishes are the part of a plan families most often argue about and the easiest to settle. Record the kind of farewell you want, burial or cremation or another option, where, who leads, music or readings and how costs will be met. Where you do not mind, write "family's choice".

Leave words as well as wealth: a short letter to each person you love, an ethical will or legacy letter about your values, recorded messages and family history notes. A letter of wishes beside your will can explain choices and list personal items; it is usually not legally binding.

For digital life, never write passwords into a will or letter. Use a reputable password manager's emergency access feature and the legacy or inactive-account settings many online services offer, and record only that they exist and who is named.

What if I am helping a parent get their affairs in order?

Many people come to this subject because of a parent rather than themselves. The principle that matters most is control: it is your parent's plan, their decisions and their lawyer. Your role is to make it easier, not to decide.

Start small. A useful opening is to ask for their help with your own plan, or to ask just two questions: if you were ever in hospital and could not tell us, who should we call first, and where are your papers? If they say no, accept it and try again another time. One small step is a success.

Offer practical help with the writing and the forms, keep siblings informed with a short neutral message, and be careful about money. If your parent is starting to have memory problems, encourage them to choose decision-makers while the choice is still clearly theirs, and involve their doctor and a lawyer. Never pressure a parent to change a will, and be wary of anyone who does.

• Let them lead every decision.
• Do the paperwork, not the deciding.
• Keep brothers and sisters informed together, not one at a time behind each other's backs.
• Bring in a professional early if there is any doubt about capacity or family pressure.

How do I talk to my family and keep the plan current?

A plan nobody knows about is half a plan. Climb a conversation ladder one rung at a time: a light mention, where things are, who does what, what you want, and then a family meeting if it helps. Speak to people one at a time before any group conversation, and explain the reasons for any big or unequal decisions in person.

Review the plan every year and after life events: marriage, separation, a birth, a death, a move abroad, buying or selling property, a diagnosis or a child turning 18. In some countries marriage or divorce can change an existing will automatically, so ask your lawyer.

If you want everything in one place, the Bodhih Final Wishes and Estate Preparation Kit includes an estate workbook with a readiness score, fillable forms, family scripts and a six-week plan. Before you sign anything, the AssessAll Everyday Agreements Assessment can help you check how carefully you read what you are about to sign, and the Jobulary guide to the WOOP method can help you turn 'I should do this' into a goal you finish.